A couple of days ago news reached me that my nephew no longer lives. He went missing after an argument with his girlfriend. He wrote to a record producer that he would not be signing the contract he had been waiting for for about six years.

We never properly met. My nephew was in his Mother’s belly at my wedding 25 years ago. Since then, we were separated by a few countries in Europe.

Why would I feel any connection? I know his Dad and his Dad’s parents. I never truly got to know his Mother. I cannot help but feel their deep sense of loss.

How are family and friends to deal with the loss of a loved one, loss of a child, grandchild, friend, idol…?

Such a young life lost, because…? Even if we find out the cause of death, we know that it is just a method of terminating a heartbeat. What we all long for establishing is the intention behind the method — intention, the source of any action.

If it was coincidence and accident, then that’s that. If it was not coincidence or accident, what could be a strong reason to override the instinct to survive?

Is it a reason, or is it a lack of ability to deal with causes?

Any reason can only be the meaning we give it to be, how we perceive it. How aware are we when assigning meaning to things, events, people in our lives?

What truly matters? Collating all the facts? Justifying the reasons, judging? Or healing?

My Great Grandmother had one of her sons murdered. She went to the field where his body lay and brought it home on a cart. Many people and family members were coming forward with information on sighting suspicious strangers, reasons someone could have had, bad intentions, casting shadows of suspicion. My Great Grandmother stood in front of them and firmly declared there would be no inquest. She must have firmly focused all her energy on healing. She was very loving, and I am proud to have met her and remember her taking me to milk a cow. An event I remember like yesterday.

Healing, above all I crave healing.